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"A dress has no meaning unless it makes a man want to take it off." --Francoise Sagan

"We are torn between the craving to know and the despair of having known." --Francoise Sagan

"It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one a failure." --Herbert Louis Samuel

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." --Vernon Sanders

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a '57 Chevy will just about obliterate them." --Matthew W. Schmeer

"You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose without kidnapping him from work at gunpoint, blindfolding him, driving to an undisclosed location, and chaining him to a wall naked. At least, I can't." --Matthew W. Schmeer

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time." --Charles Schulz

"Beauty is very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?" --George Bernard Shaw

"Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing." --William Shakespeare

"Go oft to the house of thy friend
For weeds choke up the unused path." --Shakespeare

"My only love sprung from my only hate." --William Shakespeare, from "Romeo and Juliet"

"I would not want to live in a cartoon world... Too many people have too much access to too much dynamite." --Erik Shmukler

"The musician's art is to send light into the depths of men's hearts." --Robert Shumann

"Everything is sweetened by risk." --Alexander Smith

"There is no business like show business, but taxidermy is probably a close second." --Chuck Smith

"You can stay up until the cows come home, but it's awful hard to explain the cows to your condo association." --Chuck Smith

"Growing up, my father told me I could be whomever I wanted. What a cruel hoax that was! I'm still his son." --Kenny Smith

"Once, while working in my office, I thought I saw Dorothy's house go by out of the corner of my eye. Then I realized it was just that cow from the movie 'Twister.' " --Kenny Smith

"I remember one year when I went trick-or-treating with my dad. Some people thought the Lone Ranger costume was silly, but most people just thought Dad was too old to be trick-or-treating." --Alan Smithee

"You must live through the time when everything hurts." --Stephen Spender

"Desire is the very essence of man." --Baruch Spinoza

"The next time someone calls you an idiot, I think a good way to retaliate is to take off your clothes and run at them screaming. Boy, does THAT confuse them!" --Craig Stacey

"Every time I start to get down about the state of the world, I think of ice cream. It doesn't cheer me up or anything, it just makes me want some, then I eat it too fast and get one of those ice cream headaches. Man, do those babies hurt!" --Craig Stacey

"Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the media with pornographic material while pretending it has some redeeming social value under the public's 'right to know'." --Kenneth Starr, 1987, "Sixty Minutes" interview with Dianne Sawyer.

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." --John Steinbeck

"I would love to tell you that I shall love you til death do us part, but that is not true, for I my love shall not end there." --Jon Sternoff, Romance 101 Creator

"To women, love is an occupation; to men it is a preoccupation." --Lionel Strachey

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." --August Strindberg

"Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity." --Joseph Sugarman

"Discretion may be the better part of valor, but it sure dampens a kegger." --Keith Sullivan

"Maybe some things do improve with age, but no matter how long I wait, my Commodore 64 just won't run Windows 95." --Keith Sullivan

"The angry lover tells himself many a lie." --Publilius Syrus

"Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure." --Thomas Szasz"

T

"The anger of lovers renews their love." --Terence

"The city is built to music, and therefore never built at all, and therefore built forever." --Alfred, Lord Tennyson

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; However, if you want anything done, ask a woman." --Margaret Thatcher

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." --Margaret Thatcher

"I shall love you until death do us part and then we shall be together for ever and ever." --Dylan Thomas

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." --James Thurber

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." --Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

"For fast acting relief, try slowing down." --Lily Tomlin

"I always wanted to be somebody. I realize now that I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin

"I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody." --Lily Tomlin

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" --Lily Tomlin

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." --Lily Tomlin

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." --Lily Tomlin

"Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying--but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?" --Lily Tomlin

"Blood is thicker than water. Plus, the goldfish don't seem to like it as much." --Michael Turniansky

"Ever consider what they (our pets) must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" --Anne Tyler

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